what care i for human hearts?

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 18:43:58 GMT

im so in love with him. sometimes it hurts.

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 19:17:25 GMT

i figure its a good time to come back to this journal. as my world falls apart around me and i have to keep some secrets, i need a decent place to put them. here will work for now. i have fallen in love with someone else and i cant seem to figure out what to do about that. i never wanted to be this kind of person. i thought id be happy with you. with you forever. but you didnt want that. it was good until you started to get intolerable. almost on purpose. until all you do is yell and hurt me inside and then finally you did on the outside. i hate you and i love you too. that makes it harder. i dont know where to go. i dont know what to do. i sit here in limbo. can i go back and things can be fixed? i dont think so. can i move forward? it seems i am to afraid to do so. i hate this. i just cant seem to get it right. what ever right is.

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 01:34:57 GMT

i wish that i was happier. i think i wish for it so hard that it cancels out something and so i dont get to have it happen.

Thu, 12 May 2005 02:58:49 GMT

i almost forgot about this journal.

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 16:30:57 GMT

fuck you

Thu, 07 Oct 2004 17:40:51 GMT

i got tickets for the pixies...and psychic tv! i can hardly wait. both are going to be so much fun! ive been waiting to see ptv forever.... :) only thing that sucks is that i have to go to chicago. i hate doing all the diving and getting lsot and shit. thats no fun. oh well.

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 04:12:58 GMT

i love big black. i will never stop listening to them.

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 07:33:53 GMT

i hate the fact that i can never seem to fall asleep. i mean id love to be alseep right now but it just wont happen. i want sweet dreams that make me feel better.

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 18:02:40 GMT

ive got a crush. its not very secret and i love it. i just dont know quite what to do. :)

Fri, 20 Aug 2004 23:38:28 GMT

i am having a seriously shitty day. why do people hurt the ones they "love"? i mean i know i do it sometimes but i dont do it all the time. im getting pretty sick of being treated like shit. i deserve better and im about to go out and find it. speaking of going out, i plan to tonight and i hope that it is a wonderful evening.

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 16:59:32 GMT

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 23:17:02 GMT

im having one of those days where i hate myself. id like to think that im feeling better overall but i guess today im not. i hate pretending things are alright, when theyre not. every time i open my big mouth, i mess something up. i hate having friends who are petty and are stupid over the littlest of things. i try and tell them but how do you not comprimse yourself or hurt them? it just doesnt happen. so maybe friends are overrated and im perfectly happy with myself. i dont know.

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 05:20:59 GMT

its so lovely outside tonight. i wanna be outside and not stuck here. i wanna be having fun.

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 04:13:59 GMT

im bored.

Sat, 03 Jul 2004 15:36:28 GMT

i hate how hot it is. its not even good hot. i hate busting a sweat by just sitting. if it would rain today, it wouldnt be so bad. im tempted to just sit around in my undies all day.

Sat, 03 Jan 2004 05:39:26 GMT

wow. its been been awhile...

Sun, 09 Nov 2003 00:26:27 GMT

this week has just been horrible. i think that tonight i need to get out. or else. oh and fuck you to everyone (my friends included) going to pigface without me. i love you all too.

Tue, 04 Nov 2003 07:30:33 GMT

hmmmm...halloween turned out to be a bit depressing but oh well. id rather not dwell on it. the rest of the weekend was about as dull as dull gets. and so was today. its getting to cold for me already. and besides that its been raining all weekend and all day and oh yeah, it will tom as well, i suppose. yuck.

Thu, 30 Oct 2003 04:28:34 GMT

i cant wait for friday. i cant wait to get dressed up and go out. i hope its a grrrreat night.

Wed, 29 Oct 2003 09:09:14 GMT

i cant sleep. :(

TMI: a stolen quiz

Wed, 29 Oct 2003 06:58:58 GMT

Sexual Quiz

1. Had sex in three or more positions in one session? yup

2. Had sex continuously for 1 hour or more? yup

3. Devoted an entire day to sex and sexual activity (with breaks for eating, etc)? yup

4. Been so loud having sex that people complained? yup

5. Had your sexual technique/style/skill openly praised by someone? yup

6. Brought your partner to orgasm using only your hands? yup

7. Had sex while both fully dressed? nope

8. Had sex while both standing up? yup

9. Performed oral sex on a man (fellatio)? yup

10. Performed oral sex on a woman (cunnilingus)? yup

11. Received oral sex from a man? yup

12. Received oral sex from a woman? nope

13. Used position number 69? yup

14. Intentionally swallowed semen (your own counts)? yup

15. Had heterosexual intercourse using no birth control? yup, stupid as it is
16. Had sex during menstruation? yup

17. Used whipped cream, chocolate syrup, etc... for sexual purposes? yup

18. Used ice for sexual purposes? yup

19. Completely shaved off your pubic hair? no and i have no desire to

20. Purchased a sex toy? yup

21. Inserted your finger into someone's anus, or had this done to you? yup

22. Licked someone's anus? nope

23. Performed anal intercourse on someone (on the giving end, toys count)? yup

24. Received anal intercourse (receiving end, toys count)? yup

25. Used a vibrator or dildo on your partner, or had your partner use one on you? yup

26. Been involved in use of a cock-ring? yup

27. Been involved in use of a strap-on? nope

8. Participated in fist-fucking? nope

29. Contracted a venereal disease or STD? nope, thank goodness

30. Given a sympathy fuck? yup

31. Forced or coerced someone into having sex with you? nope

33. Paid for sex with a prostitute? hell no

34. Been involved in adultery? i suppose so

35. Had sex with your boss or teacher? nope

36. Had sex with someone the same day you met them? nope

37. Had sex with someone whose name you did not know? nope

38. Been openly homosexual or bisexual? yup

39. Had more than 10 sex partners? close

40. Been in a threesome? yup

41. Engaged in group sex (more than three people)? yup

42. Had sex in a public place? yup

43. Had sex in a car (moving or stationary)? yup

44. Become a member of the mile high club? nope

45. Had sex in the water (hot tub, shower, pool, etc)? yup

46. Been walked in on while having sex? yup

47. Had sex while you knew someone else was watching? yup

48. Engaged in bondage? yup

49. Engaged in "golden showers" (urinating)? nope

50. Have body piercing to enchance sexual pleasure? not for that reason exactly

Mon, 27 Oct 2003 23:14:43 GMT

there is no soda in my house. and nothing i wanna eat. its cold outside so i dont wanna walk. *pouts* help!

Sat, 25 Oct 2003 16:35:18 GMT

horray for tonight. i need it.

Fri, 24 Oct 2003 05:25:41 GMT

this has been a fairly crappy day. im glad its almost over. now, if i make it through friday, ill be fine. i get to go out saturday and thatll be grrreat. i want beer! a downtown brown, in fact. :) woot.

Thu, 23 Oct 2003 19:10:21 GMT

i wanna go take more pics!